The Hardest Thing....

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The Hardest Thing….

“The hardest thing is facing yourself.┬áIt’s easier to shout revolution and “power to the people” than it is to look at yourself and try and find out what’s real and what isn’t, when you try and pull the wool over your own eyes and your own hypocrisy.” John Lennon

Yesterday talking to old friends who struggled with a situation they never encountered from that perspective.

It was hurtful and confusing and raised many questions and maybe insecurities.

It was something familiar to me.

When we put ourselves out there or put ourselves in the role to lead, we have to be very clear about who we are with space to grow into who we will be.

But, we need to know who we are at our core, because when we do not, I guarantee you people and every situation imaginable will challenge you and push you to know yourself and know what you are made of, and what you are all about.

And even when you think you know, you’ll still be tested in putting your money where your mouth is.

I’ve been given these challenges my whole life, and in many periods of growth, like leaving a traditional career, leaving a relationship, and many the most challenging, opening a studio and all of those dynamics since, I have been tested, hard, and sometimes in head spinning rapid speed.

I have had people that I viewed and treated as family, unexpectedly and without ration burn me hard, crack my heart.
I have had people threaten my livelihood and work and take any measure to destroy me because they felt threatened by something tiny.
I have had people say horrible and untrue things or pass judgement without any knowledge.

And I am grateful FOR IT ALL.

Each thing was a chance to go back in, go deeper, look at my shit, look at what I could have done better, what I could have done wrong, how I could improve.

Each thing gave me the very clear choice in caving in or leveling up, even if it was much harder with much less payoff.

Each chance gave me the CHOICE to do the right thing and to clarify what that meant and looked like to me.

Now, now I am strong from a place so deep that even some of the hardest and deepest blows that hit me last year, they made me stumble but they did not

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